Yoga In My Backyard

I love how the universe presents opportunities to us – chances to learn and transform. Sometimes these opportunities are not so clear and downright yucky…but it is said that there is a lesson in everything so it is up to us to be AWAKE enough to first see the lesson, then learn from it.

I also love how opportunities to learn fall squarely in our lap, literally right under our nose. We don’t necessarily have to travel to the ends of the earth, to a sacred place, or even to a yoga class (although I love when people come to my class – so keep coming!). Sometimes a chance for insight is right in our own backyards, so if we pluck out the weeds, tend our inner gardens, and nourish our own space, we just might find the answers are RIGHT HERE.

I’ve been keeping a journal for several years where I write down words of wisdom that resonate with me. Even though they are someone else’s words, the message they hold is universal and there for anyone…if you’re open to it. So here is part of my list to share; you can use these sage words as advice, as warnings to heed, as contemplation in meditation, or as something to pass on to a friend in need.

1. Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden. (from a note card)

2. Your presence is a present to the world. (from a fridge magnet)

3. Eden is all around us. (headline in newspaper re: gardening)

4. Chillax, Mom! (my son telling me to be calm)

5. May you look at life squarely and find it worthwhile. (greeting card)

6. The true spiritual secret is this: what you seek, you already are. (Deepak Chopra)

7. Count your blessings, not your troubles. (fridge magnet)

8. After you get stung, you can’t get unstung no matter how much you whine about it. (from the book “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd)

9. Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.  (Helen Keller)

10. Not forgiving someone locks them and you in a prison; forgive and set each other free. (Pete Bernard – Algonquin Shaman)

11. Pay yourself first. (Glenn Mifsud – Stillpoint Yoga Retreat Centre; I also think David Chilton, The Wealthy Barber, said this too…)

12. Be the change you want to see in the world. (Mahatma Gandhi)

13. Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back. Kiss them so they will kiss their children and their children’s children. (from a Starbucks cup)

14. Fear less…love more. (Anonymous)

May we all be open to these lessons…

***If YOU have any “sage” words to share, send them to me!

With Mother’s Day approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about the role of being a mom: to nurture, to guide, to support, to feed, to teach. Years ago as a new mom I looked to books, pediatricians,  mom-and-baby groups, and Grandmas for advice and wisdom, making sure I was doing all the “right” things. Some of the tried-and-true practices and theories were very helpful at the time (only to change a few years later – exactly what is the right side to put a baby to sleep: back/side/belly???). Some of the advice was contradictory: “You should be harder on them” vs. “You shouldn’t be so hard on them”. Some of the advice was judgemental: “I can’t believe you let him get away with that” and some of the advice felt plain wrong: “It’s just one beer…”. Some of the guidance was invaluable: “Let them BE”.

Trusting in your own wisdom as a mom is so important, and requires you to take a good look at yourself. If you want your children to be happy, you must be that yourself. If you want your children to be free from anxiety, stop worrying so much yourself. If you want your children to be independent, confident, and content, let them do for themselves/be themselves/find themselves and do the same for YOURSELF. Be willing to let them go…

For some moms, Mother’s Day is a hard day. Dealing with loss, no matter how recent or how far in the past, it tugs at our maternal heart-strings. Perhaps this is the day to let it tug, to let yourself go there, to feel your loss, to release your sorrow, and to then take another step forward. Perhaps it’s a day to lift your heart to the sky and take a full breath for YOU. Some of us other mothers will be silently sending out energy, giving you support…because that’s what we do as moms…

Now as my sons are “grown up” and creating their own paths, I could not be more proud. Not because of what I’ve done for them, but because of what they are doing for themselves. I feel like my arms are opening wider, spreading out a huge blanket of love and support, giving space for them to grow. This Mother’s Day, I celebrate THEM, for teaching me to love and live.

“OPEN YOUR ARMS WIDE”

Wise parents do not strive,

yet their purposes never fail.

They are available,

but never interfere.

They communicate,

but never lecture.

They let their children go,

but never lose them.

These parents are like the Tao

They open wide their hearts and hands,

yet never lose a thing.

If I grasp my children and my other treasures,

I will have only what my arms can hold.

And even that slips through my grasp.

But the wider I have opened my arms,

the more and more I find.

If I can ever open wide,

I will have everything.

(from “The Parent’s Tao Te Ching”, William Martin; 1999, De Capo Press)

With the end of April around the corner, my backyard is starting to green up! New growth, bird songs, sunshine, and my favourite green patio chairs…ahhhh spring at last. The season provides the perfect opportunity for clean-up, de-cluttering, and airing out, not only in house and garden but in body and mind. I thought I’d make a more serious effort to “green” up my diet in order to tidy up my “inner yard”. I have a big juicer taking up space on my counter. It stares at me every day, beckoning me to USE IT so I decided to answer its daily call.

This lovely plate of kale, mango, spinach, pear, pineapple, and red grapes would have been a chore to eat. So it all went into the juicer and voila!

  Diluted it with a bit of filtered water and took a few big gulps…delicious! Thanks to a good friend who motivated me by linking me to a juicing website called http://www.rebootwithjoe.com. I am now motivated to juice every day! Tomorrow, WATERMELON CRUSH (watermelon, lime, basil). Share your favourite recipes with me…

Today was a day to send out energy…A family in our neighbourhood lost their daughter to a tragic car accident recently. I cannot imagine how devastating this must be, and of course as my mind went to my own boys, I wondered how I could ever deal with the loss of either one of them.

Support comes in many forms, from direct contact to well-wishes from a distance. At the visitation I was able to hold both parents today, to feel their heartache, to share their grief; and like many others who were lining up behind me, we offered the family energy to keep on moving forward. From a distance, I can continue to send them strength by dedicating my practice to them. If energy travels, surely they will feel it.

This morning I taught a particularly powerful yin yoga class; powerful for me as I sat at the front holding space, just listening to the collective breath of the group. I suspect that others may have felt it, too, in some way. As a teacher, it might be surprising for people to know just how much I get back from my participants. There is a mutual exchange of energy within the group, so that those who have an abundance to give will support those who are in need of a lift.

Sometimes, without us even realizing it, someone…somewhere is sending us strength, love, compassion, healing. If we are open to receive it, we have the support to do just that – heal…

I attended the annual yoga conference in Toronto this past weekend. As always it’s a great place to learn…and not just from taking workshops, trainings, and celebrity classes. While I did learn some excellent “technical” stuff from top-notch teachers (yoga buzzwords, Sanskrit terminology, neuroscience, Ayurvedic practices, and how to do a better downward dog…), my biggest classroom was the trade show. In the midst of what could arguably be one of the most “non-yogic” settings of the whole conference, a few observations set the stage for contemplation in between the jewellery booth, the green juice booth, and the funky yoga pants booth.

Observation #1: It is so very easy to get caught up in the commercial side of YOGA. Clothing, baubles, mala beads…it’s not hard to LOOK the part, but does that really mean we truly walk the walk? Yoga is about shedding our layers, not piling more on. It made me think twice about buying yet another t-shirt…so I didn’t. It also made me think about being authentic…of living my yoga rather than pretending by wearing a fake OM tattoo.

Observation #2: Some of the big-name yoga teachers were there and I caught myself being a bit star-struck. “Hero-worship” is an interesting feeling, making me feel all giddy and awkward and kind of “unworthy”…even though I know better. Aren’t we all worthy, and very much the same divine beings at the core?

Observation #3: I absolutely do NOT like coconut water…even if it is a free sample and full of electrolytes and healthy properties…

Observation #4: Energy has different qualities and we refer to it in yoga as rajasic (crazy frenetic energy), tamasic (heavy lethargic energy), and sattvic (balanced calm energy). The trade show by nature is full of noise, crowds, and rushing (very rajasic), but somehow I managed to find balance amidst it all. Could that have been because of the restorative workshop I just did where my nervous system had a chance to re-calibrate? Could it have been because of my meditation practice that morning? Or could it have been that the sattvic seeds that I have been planting in my own backyard (finding the calm in the middle of the storm) have finally germinated? Hmmm…

Observation #5: A good friend gave me an early birthday present. She asked me to pick out a piece of jewellery that “spoke” to me. While it took several visits to a particular booth, I finally chose a piece that symbolizes grounding, harmony, beauty, strength, and connection. And it is infused with love and friendship and meaning – it is not so much the item, but the intention behind it. That means more to me than the item itself.

Observation #6: Another friend joins me every year at this conference. She is the ultimate “snacker” and loves to nibble. I can always count on her to bring something to satisfy our late evening cravings for food. She takes care of me…in this seemingly small way, she nourishes me. The mantra “Om Vardhanam Namah” means “I am the nourisher of the universe” and relates to giving and receiving. I love the energetic exchange between me and my friend…

Observation #7: I met a woman who had lovely yoga clothes that perfectly matched, cool yoga jewellery, and a pile of newly-purchased yoga props. But in the space of 15 minutes, she complained how tired she was, how much her body hurt, how she hated spending so much time in her car, how rushed she was, and how heavy her bags were. At first I caught myself being judgemental about her (thinking…whoa, and you’re a yoga teacher??). But when I considered her from a different perspective I realized she is just like many of us – busy, stressed, trying to find her way, and carrying a load that is far too heavy. Interesting, that as star-struck as I was over the other yoga celebrity, it really is THIS woman I still think about…and my wish for her is peace, an easier path, and a chance to take a breath.

Observation #8: I stepped off the train after a fruitful weekend to my knight awaiting in the Ford. He held down the fort while I was gone (which included doing laundry) so that I could come home to a peaceful environment. He is such a supporter of my path, and tries hard to respect my need for calm. What I learn rubs off on him…and what he learns rubs off on me.

Our learning often comes from those places we least expect it. I am grateful for all my teachers and life lessons…in any form.

I had a great tutorial today with a pro! She has an amazing food blog…and she’s a graphic artist and great writer. She gave me lots of tips on how to navigate this world of posting, publishing, sharing, privacy and (very important) proof-reading. Thanks Lesley!

A blog gives us a forum to share thoughts, ideas, observations, and ponderings…all in a very public domain. If my intention is to create a positive ripple effect from “my backyard”, then this blog needs to adhere to the yogic principle of AHIMSA.

AHIMSA is the first of five “yamas” or ethical precepts outlined by the ancient sage, Patanjali, in the yoga sutras. It means “non-harming” in thoughts, words, and deeds. I will be the first to admit that I have so not followed this at times…but change begins with awareness so it is helpful to practice just that – being more AWARE of when our thoughts are harmful, of when our words sting, and when our deeds hurt. The more we are AWARE, the more we can nip our harmful habits in the moment so their energy does not grow into a destructive force, whether it is towards others or ourselves.

In the spirit of AHIMSA, I wish to set a precedent for this blog. Let it be all about creating positive vibrations, even if we happen to be discussing something nasty, sad, outrageous, or incredible. In my backyard, I will be watering the seeds of kindness, compassion, tolerance, open-mindedness, non-judgement…Please hold me to it!

(A good article that expands on this can be found at http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2112)

So I’m quite a newbie at this setting-up-a-website thing…trying to jump between the instructions page and the actual site page, understanding the “lingo”, and trying to make it look like I know what I’m doing! My theme and format may end up changing a few times before it’s finally said and done so bear with me..

The lotus is a flower that arises from the dark, the mud, the depths.To me it represents awakening…or maybe RE-awakening. Sometimes we need to be reminded that life is full of ups and downs and it is the ability to bounce back from the “downs” that makes us stronger, empowers us, and gives us the strength to carry on. Resilience…that’s the word of the day.