Love…actually…

Over 30-plus years ago, something happened to me that changed the trajectory of my life forever. It was unexpected, in-the-moment, and kind of goofy. I had no idea to what heights it would take me, or to what lows it would help me endure. I could not have imagined how it would guide me to today. That something was (and still is) LOVE…actually…

Today is my (our) 28th wedding anniversary. My gift to hubby is this public declaration of my love…and an opportunity to contemplate what it really means. Has today’s definition of love changed or is there a timeless essence that exists no matter what era? Romantic love, familial love, pet love, tough love, friend love, love you end a text message with (LY4E – love you forever), self-love, spiritual love…It goes by many forms but I looked up the definition in my old 1997 Merriam-Webster dictionary and it seems that the basis of ALL love is a deep connection between 2 or more parties (whether those parties are between me/myself/I, my spouse, God, or all of humanity). This is the definition:

LOVE (noun) – “strong affection; warm attachment; attraction based on sexual desire; a beloved person; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others; a score of zero in tennis”.

Ha, love can even be found at Wimbledon…

One of the more traditional passages used to explain LOVE is from the Bible – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and was one we used in our wedding vows:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

And yet others, from the online Urban Dictionary:

The most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone…unconditional affection with no limits or conditions…an overused word…either a horrible disease or a blessing…is known to be highly contagious and can be deadly…

Ah yes, the downside of love – when it’s not reciprocated, or when it’s betrayed, or when it is lost. When there is an interrupt in the giving-receiving flow. When one’s definition changes because of past negative experiences that shadow the real essence of love. Such a complicated four-letter word…

An interesting perspective on LOVE comes from the more scientific view of “positivity resonance” – being in HARMONY with those around you by establishing a positive connection that is mirrored back to you. According to research, when we are connected with others our brain and heart rhythms synchronize. This leads to improved physiological functioning and a higher sense of well-being (see https://www.theconnection.tv/the-power-of-love-how-3-micro-moments-change-everything/ for how to practice better connection).

I’m not an expert, but the very fact that I’m writing this today makes me understand that right here, right now, I am IN love and it is with WITHIN me. I feel it coming back to me…everyday…so I know hubby feels the same. I see it in his actions, hear it in his words, feel it when he wraps his arms around me, and know it in my heart. Even on those days when we’re feeling off or when we’re travelling apart or after we’ve had a disagreement or when we forget…it’s still there. And it is the biggest gift we can pass on by example to our sons. Maybe the oldest definition from the Bible still holds true. Love never fails…

Happy Anniversary, Honey. LY4E..as goofy as you are…

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