Yoga In My Backyard

Over 30-plus years ago, something happened to me that changed the trajectory of my life forever. It was unexpected, in-the-moment, and kind of goofy. I had no idea to what heights it would take me, or to what lows it would help me endure. I could not have imagined how it would guide me to today. That something was (and still is) LOVE…actually…

Today is my (our) 28th wedding anniversary. My gift to hubby is this public declaration of my love…and an opportunity to contemplate what it really means. Has today’s definition of love changed or is there a timeless essence that exists no matter what era? Romantic love, familial love, pet love, tough love, friend love, love you end a text message with (LY4E – love you forever), self-love, spiritual love…It goes by many forms but I looked up the definition in my old 1997 Merriam-Webster dictionary and it seems that the basis of ALL love is a deep connection between 2 or more parties (whether those parties are between me/myself/I, my spouse, God, or all of humanity). This is the definition:

LOVE (noun) – “strong affection; warm attachment; attraction based on sexual desire; a beloved person; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others; a score of zero in tennis”.

Ha, love can even be found at Wimbledon…

One of the more traditional passages used to explain LOVE is from the Bible – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and was one we used in our wedding vows:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

And yet others, from the online Urban Dictionary:

The most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone…unconditional affection with no limits or conditions…an overused word…either a horrible disease or a blessing…is known to be highly contagious and can be deadly…

Ah yes, the downside of love – when it’s not reciprocated, or when it’s betrayed, or when it is lost. When there is an interrupt in the giving-receiving flow. When one’s definition changes because of past negative experiences that shadow the real essence of love. Such a complicated four-letter word…

An interesting perspective on LOVE comes from the more scientific view of “positivity resonance” – being in HARMONY with those around you by establishing a positive connection that is mirrored back to you. According to research, when we are connected with others our brain and heart rhythms synchronize. This leads to improved physiological functioning and a higher sense of well-being (see https://www.theconnection.tv/the-power-of-love-how-3-micro-moments-change-everything/ for how to practice better connection).

I’m not an expert, but the very fact that I’m writing this today makes me understand that right here, right now, I am IN love and it is with WITHIN me. I feel it coming back to me…everyday…so I know hubby feels the same. I see it in his actions, hear it in his words, feel it when he wraps his arms around me, and know it in my heart. Even on those days when we’re feeling off or when we’re travelling apart or after we’ve had a disagreement or when we forget…it’s still there. And it is the biggest gift we can pass on by example to our sons. Maybe the oldest definition from the Bible still holds true. Love never fails…

Happy Anniversary, Honey. LY4E..as goofy as you are…

What’s your story – your history? I could say that mine began in Alberta where I was born and then I would go on to list all the places I’ve lived, things I’ve done, places I’ve worked, events that have been significant in my life (both good and bad), what I’ve learned from my Mom and Dad and my sons, where I’ve travelled, who has done me wrong and who has inspired me, what I am proud of and what I regret, health challenges faced, whom I’ve loved and whom I’ve lost, my family life, etc. This is all ABOUT me…but who am I really? Who are you really?

From the time the very first human ever pondered his or her existence to present time, this question has been asked. Isn’t it funny that millions of years later there is still no definitive answer? We keep searching, questioning, speculating…Maybe that is our real purpose – to keep seeking the answer until we come to the realization that we really don’t have to look so far after all. Deepak Chopra says, “The true spiritual secret is this: what you seek, you already are. True success is discovering your inner divinity – it’s the ability to love and have compassion, trust your intuition, and awaken to your unlimited creative nature”. This isn’t just New Age wisdom – long before any modern-day spiritual teacher wrote about it, the ancient yogic sages knew that they were much more than their physical bodies or their stories. In fact, they declared “Aham Brahmasmi”  – I am Brahman or I am Spirit or I am pure consciousness. I am Divine…

Fast forward to 2015 in a world that is so complicated, so busy, so in need of connection and so desperate for something more…Maybe our stories have become so complex that we’ve lost ourselves in the details. We identify more with the content of our lives and the idea that we are what we DO; what we have achieved or not achieved; what has been done to us or what we have done to ourselves; what we look like physically; what we have in our possession; what others think of us. We think we know all about ourselves but again we ask the question – who am I really? How do I know my true Self?

Well that’s where yoga comes in – the practice of being very present in the NOW; observing the story of our lives and understanding that the stories are just perceptions and thoughts – movements of the mind. Sit quietly with those movements and let them settle so that clarity arises. Clarity that leads to the knowledge that I am Divine and more than my story. This is exactly what the first three Yoga Sutras tell us:

Atha yoga anuasanam – Now begins the practice of Yoga.

Yogas chitta vritti nirodhah – Yoga is the calming of the thought waves of the mind.

Tada drastuh svarupe vasthanam – When the mind is calm, we see our true nature, who we really are.

The answer to the question of who we really are can be very esoteric or quite simple. Maybe it can be expressed in words or maybe it defies verbal explanation and is more a “knowingness” or understanding. I like this perspective from Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose“:

“What is spiritual realization? The belief that you are spirit? No, that’s a thought…Spiritual realization is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think, or feel is ultimately not who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away…What remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts, and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, truer I. When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness. The only thing that ultimately matters is this: Can I sense my essential Beingness, the I Am, in the background of my life at all times?…Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?”

Your story – your history – is still relevant and important in understanding much about who you are and who you are not. Tolle says, “In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself”. Investigate your story but don’t get lost in it, don’t identify with it…go beyond it and uncover your true Self.

I recently read an interesting article about the increasing incidence of neck pain due to texting. The article called it “Text Neck” and explained how the further you jut your head out and look down to text, the heavier the load that is placed on your cervical spine (see article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/20/text-neck-is-becoming-an-epidemic-and-could-wreck-your-spine/). Over time, this can lead to an aching neck and jaw as well as a forward-head posture that rounds the shoulders and puts strain on the upper back. And if you think about it, this posture isn’t only apparent when you use your smartphone. It is continually reinforced when you’re working at a computer, when you’re washing the dishes, wearing a heavy backpack, driving a car, or even when you’re in a yoga class. Is your posture becoming a pain in the neck?

I often ask students in my yoga classes to stand tall in “mountain pose” (Tadasana) and “roll your shoulders back once and set them down”. This simple instruction helps to re-align one’s posture, opening up the chest, lifting the chin, and re-setting the position of the head. But if you have “forward-head posture”, this might feel as though there is more strain on the neck. So I add the instruction “draw your chin in slightly and allow it to be parallel to the floor”. This helps to bring the head back into alignment…if only for that moment. One stands taller, opens up a better channel for breath and energy to flow, and creates a stance of self-confidence. The key is to continue to be mindful of this positioning throughout the practice, not just in that one moment while standing in Tadasana. Next time you flow through a Sun Salutation or any other sequence, be aware of the alignment of your head in relation to your spine and see if it’s the head that leads rather than the “heart”. When you lead from your heart centre in a forward fold, it helps to reduce the forward-head posture.

With a prolonged forward-head posture (FHP), often the muscles of the upper back are overstretched and weak, and the shoulders are rounded, creating a more exaggerated rounding or “kyphosis” of the upper back.  Back-bending yoga poses that encourage strengthening of these muscles are important, such as low cobra (Bhujangasana) which emphasizes extension of the thoracic spine. But it’s important to remember the position of the head, drawing the chin in slightly so as to counter the tendency to bring the head forward i.e. “leading” with the chin. Bow pose (Dhanurasana) and camel pose (Ustrasana) also extend the spine and include bringing the hands behind the body and engaging the upper back muscles, helping to strengthen these weak areas. In addition, back-bending poses can help stretch tight chest muscles that result from a forward rounding of the shoulders. A supported chest-opening pose lying back on a bolster such as reclining bound angle or “butterfly” pose (Supta Baddha Konasana) or supported fish pose on blocks (Matsyasana) can provide this much-needed stretch.

The beauty of a well-balanced yoga class is that it moves the spine (including the cervical spine) in all its ranges of motion – flexion, extension, rotation, and side-bending. But if all those movements are done with the head out of alignment and the chin jutting forward, are we creating more imbalances throughout the body? Take the practice of Yin Yoga, where one is encouraged to release passively for an extended time into a seated or lying pose that gently “loads” the joints (including the vertebral joints) in order to bring about a subtle (or sometimes profound) release in the connective tissues and promote better flow of chi or prana. I love this practice…however I’ve been noticing more and more how the forward-head posture is increased in many of these poses. As the head hangs down, for example, in any of the passive forward-bending poses such as “caterpillar” (a passive version of a seated forward bend or Paschimottanasana), I can see how we are creating yet another incidence of prolonged FHP where more strain is being placed on the neck and upper back. I often advise students on how to use props to help support their heads and spines, but we sometimes seem to “go all out” rather than easing off in the moment. In keeping with the yogic principle of non-harming or Ahimsa, how can we be more mindful of our alignment in this practice…in all practices? How can we bring more balance (both yin and yang) into our practices so as to counter the effects of postural imbalances?

I believe that the key is just that – being MINDFUL. Paying attention to how we are holding ourselves informs us about where tension is being felt in the body, how it is affecting other areas, and what it is doing to our breathing. It allows us to then make shifts in our position and even in our thinking. Being aware of the importance of aligning ALL parts of the body helps us to focus on the WHOLE person – physically through postural adjustments; energetically through diaphragmatic breathing; mentally through mindfulness of sensations, feelings, and emotions; and even spiritually by treating the body as a sacred vessel that houses Spirit or the soul. Alignment isn’t just about holding yourself UP in perfect anatomical position; it’s about finding that place between effort and surrender, yin and yang, lunar and solar. That place that brings ease of breath, ease of movement, ease of stillness, peace of mind…For each person it will be different, so it’s important to listen to your own body intently.

The next time you hear that familiar “plink” sound from your smartphone signalling a text, email, or Facebook post, use this moment to pause and re-align. Roll your shoulders back once and set them down. Lift your head slightly and stand/sit with confidence. Take a full deep breath in and let it go. Then instead of bringing your head to your phone, just nod a little and lift your phone a little higher. Instead of reinforcing TEXT NECK, change your posture patterning to SPINE ALIGN!

“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. Change the way you BE with things, and the things you BE with change.”

This quote has been floating around in my mind for the last few months, thanks to Dr. Paul Epstein, the teacher of the “Mindful Healing” course I took with the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine. It has become a mantra of sorts, that has helped me to shift my perspective on so many things. It is also the perfect “resolution” for me on this New Year’s day.

One of the reasons I took this course was to gain a deeper understanding on the connection between mind and body from a therapeutic standpoint. I was interested to learn about complementary therapies that took into account the “whole” person, and went beyond just physical symptom management of illness. I thought it would be interesting to see how meditation, yoga, and breath work were being used in clinical settings, and I hoped it would give me further resources to draw upon in my own teaching/coaching. Never did I imagine how much this course would teach me about myself…

The entire course was based on mindfulness – the practice of present-moment non-judgmental awareness. It’s something I practice on the meditation cushion by just sitting and breathing, being with thoughts and feelings and emotions, physical sensations, and outside distractions without reacting or judging or evaluating. Not easy…but I keep doing it over and over as part of the practice. Implementing this in day-to-day life is even harder; paying attention to what IS rather than what I want it to be means I must step back, see with “new eyes” and let go. In fact, drawing from the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkTC6jrtbfY), Dr. Epstein suggests that in the practice of mindfulness, we can cultivate seven qualities of BEING:

1. Non-judgment – an impartial observer, inquirer, investigator

2. Patience – not rushing or forcing or controlling the process; just letting BE in this moment

3. Beginner’s mind – seeing with curiosity and an open mind; seeing with “new eyes” and being open to several possibilities

4. Trust – welcome each experience like a “guest” or “visitor” who comes to teach us something

5. Non-striving – letting go of trying so hard; relinquishing the need to achieve results right away or to fix or to control; effortless “right effort”

6. Acceptance – being with things as they ARE in the moment; surrender

7. Letting go – if we hang on so tightly we inhibit the natural unfolding of what needs to BE; can we release our hold and just allow what IS to unfold?

At first I tried to come up with an acronym so I could remember these seven qualities (NPBTNAL? TABLPNN? PANNBLT?) but then I realized I was STRIVING too much! So in the spirit of non-striving, I let go of the NEED to remember them all and simply let the qualities develop naturally during meditation. While it’s helpful to refer back to the list from time to time, I am working on embodying these qualities more and more so they rise to the surface automatically. This is how I want to BE. This is how I already AM at the core.

Mindfulness allows us to see the truth of what is. This is where healing can happen – in the now. Over and over we were reminded in this course that the “body bears the burden” of all our experiences, and “symptoms” could be seen as signals to which we needed to give deeper and fuller attention. If we continued to bury, ignore, or deny our symptoms or pain (whether physical, emotional, mental, etc.), the burden would take its toll on the body in the form of “dis-EASE”. So we asked ourselves three questions: How did I come to be this way (what is my story in my own words)? Am I willing to listen with the “ears of my heart” to the other voices of my Self? Can I BE with my pain of mind, body, and spirit in a way that is compassionate, wise, and healing? As we worked with these questions, it reminded me of something I read in a translation of Patanjali’s yoga sutras: Not only must we learn to understand the truth, we must also be able to WITHSTAND the truth. The strength to withstand our own truth comes from those seven ways of being. Healing happens when we can be unconditionally present NOW, no matter what we are experiencing, without jumping ahead to the future and its illusive promise of “salvation” or holding on to grudges or regrets about past events which are long over.

In asking (and living) these questions with mindfulness, we were able to explore our own history through various guided meditations, imagery, and relaxation practices. In being with our own discomfort we often discovered connections between our emotions and our physical pain. We discovered how past negative experiences may have conditioned our thinking and behaviour throughout our lives and how we continue to repeat the same patterns over and over again to any perceived threat. As much as the brain has become wired to react in a certain way (neuroplasticity), with mindfulness we can create new neural pathways and re-train the brain to respond in more skillful ways. We learned about the harmful effects of prolonged untreated stress on our immune systems and how mind/body practices like meditation and relaxation can create positive changes even at the cellular level (http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/05/genes-altered-after-relaxation-practice). We discussed how treating the whole person involves looking at not only pathology and biology but also an individual’s personal experience of illness, one’s beliefs and attitudes, one’s behaviour, one’s character and personality, and one’s idea of their own purpose or meaning. We concluded that returning to “wholeness” of Self when illness is present isn’t just about “curing”; it is about “self-healing”, working with presence of mind, body, and spirit to transform suffering into awakening.

(http://drpaulepstein.com/sites/default/files/Illness%20as%20opportunity%20natural%20awakening%20pdf.pdf).

For me personally, there were many profound insights that allowed me to address old “wounds” and let them go. In doing so, places in my body where I had been holding pain seemed to open up and feel more spacious. Now more than ever I am understanding the mind-body connection in myself. I have…we ALL have…the ability to heal within. We just need to be willing to go deep into ourselves and pay attention to what we find in a compassionate, loving way. As Krishnamurti said, “When the mind is still, tranquil, not seeking any answer or solution, neither resisting nor avoiding – it is only then that there can be a regeneration, because then the mind is capable of perceiving what is true; and it is truth that liberates, not your effort to be free.”

If you are interested in understanding more about the mind-body connection, I highly recommend a documentary called “The Connection”. See the website where you can preview fifteen minutes of the film: https://www.theconnection.tv/

Hard to believe that a year has passed since I left for India and the ashram. My Guru-ji was right – it would take a good six months to a year to “unpack” all the things we experienced and learned. I’m happy to say I’ve put so many things into practice and am noticing obvious shifts in my thinking, my level of happiness and peace (increased), and my desire to live the best version of myself. I can honestly say that THESE PRACTICES WORK!! Part of this desire has led me to make more conscious choices regarding my health of body and mind so this fall, I have embarked on a “CLEAN UP/CLEAN OUT” mission.

First I began with a CLEAN OUT for my digestive system in the form of a mini dietary detox and now that I’m feeling so much better, I will continue this by following a guided Clean Eating plan for the month of November (http://www.balancedhealthyyou.com/FALL-DETOX-WITH-TERI-AND-CAROL if you’re interested in joining me – options for “busy people” so no excuses!).

Second, I acknowledged that my surroundings (mainly my office) again desperately needed as much attention as my digestive system so the big CLEAN UP began (how many times have I started this and then things piled up again?) Was there a way I could literally and metaphorically SHED unneeded pounds of paper and old bills and magazines and junk on my desk in the same way as I could do this in my body – for good? My office cleanse so far has been as liberating and satisfying as my dietary cleanse, and for the same reasons that accumulated toxins in the body create dis-ease and discomfort, so do the accumulation of years and years of paper in my filing cabinet. To break the cycle means using the same awareness we cultivate in meditation – acknowledgement of what IS (and one step further, contemplation of how things came to BE this way) and conscious effort to auto-shift out of the samskaric grooves of habit into more nourishing behaviours so that new more supportive patterns become engrained. Calling upon the energy of transformation, commitment, and discipline (called “tapas”  in Sanskrit), I am using this task as a way of living my yoga in a most practical and relevant way.

Third, a synchronicity – just at the time of my embarking on this CLEAN UP/CLEAN OUT mission, the opportunity came up to take a course with the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine called “Mindful Healing – Connecting the Cell and the Self” with Dr. Paul Epstein (http://www.drpaulepstein.com/). How perfect – so I enrolled. So far this course is teaching us how our “biography becomes biology” with the understanding that what has happened in our lives becomes embedded in our bodies, minds, hearts and influences everything from the way we think, speak, act, to how we live out our daily lives (even like accumulating junk in your office…). It has a huge bearing on our health right down to the cellular level…so the real healing must come when you deal with your stuff – when you CLEAN UP and CLEAN OUT, not just once but as an ongoing practice. This idea is nothing new and of course, the whole practice of Hatha Yoga is to cleanse, detoxify, and get rid of what keeps us stuck in our smallness, our pettiness, our self-importance, our material wants and ego desires, and to prepare the body and mind to re-awaken to what is our true nature – clarity, peace, happiness, vitality, resilience, love, connection.

So I’m pumped and motivated and excited and also a bit scared. This means delving once again into dark corners and places where things have been buried. Just like my dusty filing cabinet that still holds tax returns from 20 years ago (seriously???), I will be poking through some old memories I chose to forget. And I might be hungry or craving a latte or a glass of Cabernet…But that’s okay. Armed with all the tools I have worked so hard to develop through my yoga and meditation practice like compassion, self-love, inquisitiveness (AND a good dusting cloth and Dyson vacuum cleaner…), I willingly choose to “go there”.

My teacher, Vishva-ji, often asks his students how they are feeling. We usually answer, “Pretty good”, and then he asks, “How good? 90 degrees? 180 degrees? Or 360 degrees?” This has always really stuck with me and inspired me to create a theme for my yoga retreat called “360-Degree Living”. I put it to the test this past weekend when I hosted a group of 18 women on a yoga and meditation getaway. My aim was to discuss how we could live more fully, embracing the full spectrum of our existence and all layers of our being rather than getting stuck in only a small part of our lives. Using many different tools, we discovered ways of deepening our awareness. From silent morning meditations outside at dawn as we welcomed the sun, to yoga sequences that explored the sheaths or “koshas” of our being, to chanting Sanskrit mantras, to crazy Bollywood dancing, to sweaty sun salutations, to frosty dips in the pool, to sharing meals together in silence and in chatter – we experienced living as fully as we could by slowing down and paying attention. We did this without the fast pace of our regular daily lives, and without the pressure of needing to be anywhere else.

We laughed, we cried, we sang, we danced. We walked in nature during the day under the warmth of the sun, and made our way in the darkness of the woods at night with the stars and candles to guide us. We opened up our hearts and felt love, joy, peace. We bravely delved into our thoughts and dared to look at how we sabotage our own happiness and sense of worth through negative self-talk, judgement, criticism, and denial. We agreed to follow the “Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz – to be impeccable with our Word; to not take anything personally; to not make assumptions; and to do our best at all times, knowing that “best” can change depending on how we are in any moment. We forgave ourselves, we challenged ourselves, we hugged ourselves (and each other!). We lived this weekend in 360 degrees of awareness…

As a facilitator, it is my job to hold this sacred space for others to experience transformation. But inevitably, I always come away transformed myself. I felt myself grow along with these wonderful women who put their faith and trust in me. I witnessed beauty and grace unfold before me as smiles broadened, shoulders relaxed, voices belted out OMs, and walls came down…To be part of this growth was an honour and it continues to strengthen my belief in our universal connection to one another.

Fast forward to today – back at the office, back in the traffic, back in routine, back in noise. The idyllic environment we left might be a fading memory very soon BUT we are armed with new tools, strategies, and reminders to embrace every single day with a 360-degree lens so as not to miss a single thing – the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the sun, the moon, the small, the large, the infinite.

Deepak Chopra suggests doing a re-cap at the end of every day, reviewing what you did, felt, saw, and experienced…then you let it go. I like this strategy and have been putting it into practice – part of living fully is also being able to let things go, so we can have space to face the next day of infinite possibilities and potentialities. Vishva-ji has similar advice –  through meditation, empty the “folders” of your mind like cleaning up your computer and do regular “virus scans” to get rid of toxic thoughts. The result (which I am feeling more and more) is clarity of mind, sense of purpose, depth of feeling, and connection to your true blissful nature. So the next time he asks just HOW good am I feeling, I will open my arms wide and say with certainty and pride,  “360 degrees”…

Recently I returned from a week-long retreat with Deepak Chopra and his wonderful team of teachers. Called “Seduction of Spirit”, this was one of the Chopra Centre’s signature yoga/meditation retreats with a special event included – a “global” peace meditation carefully synchronized for a specific time so that people all over the world could participate in person or log in online. We were told after that the official count was 134,000 people plus many more “uncounted” meditators who quietly practiced on their own. So incredible! While the event itself was exciting, what was more important to me was the ripple effect that was being created…thousands and thousands of people taking a moment to pause, to breathe, to send out vibes for less violence, less hatred, less conflict.

But here are my questions: Can one or many “events” like these cause a big enough shift in global consciousness? A shift that creates lasting effects and ongoing change towards a more peaceful planet? A shift that can eventually stop a war? Deepak called it a “critical mass”; the point at which change occurs and is sustained. I don’t know if we reached that critical mass during our peace meditation; how can such a thing really be measured? I automatically looked to one of the most obvious world conflicts – the unrest in the Middle East – and hoped that I would see the fruits of our efforts through signs of peace. But the conflict was still there, violence was still happening and even escalating. At first I felt a bit discouraged…but then I remembered the “Law of Detachment” we were encouraged to practice. Put out the good vibrations to the universe then let go of control – “allow solutions to spontaneously emerge” – and let go of the need to know the outcome. Believe that what we are doing CAN and WILL make a difference…in ways we may not even predict, imagine, or contemplate. For all I really know, our peace meditation could have foiled another terrorist’s plot; could have prevented Mr. from hitting Mrs. one more time; could have made the bully in the schoolyard step back; could have made sister say sorry to brother…

REAL peace – AHIMSA – starts in your own backyard. It begins with every thought, intention, word, action. So really, peace BEGINS with me (and you…) and that was the biggest lesson from this retreat, in large part from the inspirational words of Maya Tiwari and her message of Living Ahimsa (see www.mypeacevow.com).

If we are to get along with others in the world, we sure as heck better get along with those closest to us first. So it comes down to taking a long hard look at the way you think, speak, and act with those in your immediate environment. Not long after the big peace event, I was sitting at a table for lunch where a few people were talking about their jobs and some of the nasty clients they’ve encountered. I gather the intention was to give examples of how negative non-peaceful people behave. But in their recounting of the “story”, I heard judgement, criticism, assumptions, and ego – it was all there, in the blink of an eye. In casual conversation the theme turned to US and THEM, with US being the “better” ones, and THEM being the “lesser” cranky customers. Where did the peace go that we had just cultivated less than an hour before? Was there a way of having such a conversation with compassion instead? Was there any need for this conversation at all? Was it ME that was being judgmental and critical of these people at my table? All these thoughts came rushing at once so I just hunkered down, didn’t engage, and peacefully ate my soup…

My practice has always been to make a conscious shift in my OWN thinking; but since the retreat, I’ve been paying much closer attention. Undoing the ways I have been conditioned; undoing the negative beliefs about myself and others; undoing the thought patterns that begin with something so seemingly insignificant as “OMG I can’t believe that person is wearing/saying/doing that…” (as if I know better). My practice is about re-planting the seeds of peace so that as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I re-commit to a day of giving, or a day of gratitude, or a day of acceptance, or a day of right effort, or a day of compassion, or a day of just letting go…And already, I am noticing a ripple effect in my environment…sometimes subtle and sometimes so obvious that I think “WOW” this really works.

Peace begins right here, right now and in every on-going moment. And I believe that it DOES make a difference, no matter how small or large the effort, as long as we KEEP IT UP (it is not just a one-time event…). The wisdom traditions of the world have offered us many approaches to living harmoniously with our own selves, with others, with nature and with the universe.  This beautiful piece by Lao Tzu (translated by my father-in-law, John Stubbs, in his book “BY THE WAY”) says it all:

 “What is well established is not uprooted.

What is well embraced is not abandoned,

and is practised for generations without end.

By cultivating the nature of the Way,

you become genuine,

 the family thrives,

 the community prospers,

the nation abounds,

the whole world is transformed.”

PEACE…