A Change in the Weather

The weather here in Tapovan is changing as we approach the winter season. It’s cool and windy in the mornings, and with no heating (other than some space heaters) at the ashram, we are all bundled up in the morning with jackets, shawls, and hand-knitted slipper socks (I am now a convert to socks-with-sandals out of necessity…chilly feet in my flip flops!). Our meditation hall isn’t too bad but the yoga hall is freezing sometimes, with that Himalayan wind whipping through. It is actually refreshing, knowing that it is carrying special “prana”.

There is change in the weather of another sort as well. As one of my teachers said this morning, our thoughts/emotions/feelings are very much like the weather – sometimes calm and serene and other times raging like a storm. I knew it would happen to me at some point…the feelings of homesickness, frustration with cold showers, boredom with the same food, craving for a latte, longing for my husband’s arms around me, then anger at myself for not staying focused. This is being human and all of us here are playing out similar patterns of wanting something else; of wanting to be somewhere else. I had my mini-meltdown in my room one evening, and cried and cried…but instead of beating myself up for being a “baby”, I just let it happen and really allowed myself to feel it in my body, feel it in my heart. Just like the weather, the little storm passed. Rather than letting it get to me, I let it go and moved forward to face another day with a little more space, a little more compassion for myself in my heart, and a feeling of empowerment that gave me the assurance that I can handle this.

The sun is out today, there is warmth on my face and I’m ready to get back to class. Hari Om!

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6 Comments

  1. John (aka Grumps) said,

    November 18, 2013 at 8:48 am

    Anne, I see a clear parallel between your ‘Change in the Weather’ and Stephen Cope’s story in his book, ‘The Wisdom of Yoga’.

    This essential human dilemma is not limited to you and Stephen Cope; it is the same situation that faces the seven billion plus people currently living on the planet. Our dilemma is elegantly described in the Mundaka Upanishad, which depicts the human self and higher awareness as two birds on a branch of the same tree. Maturity requires the human self to give up its ‘manager’ persona and simply live in alignment with higher awareness.

    Your experience tells me you are reaching the place of accepting things as they are and letting go of trying to control your world. Wearing socks in sandals is a good first step!

    Love you,

    John

  2. Edna Kennedy said,

    November 18, 2013 at 10:25 am

    Oh Anne – you are being so brave. I had a bit of a meltdown myself reading your blog. Stay strong my love you are almost halfway through. Love you lots. xxxx Edna

  3. Glynis said,

    November 19, 2013 at 12:20 am

    You are always the one with a calm voice, reason and support for others.
    It is good to know that when you need it and survive it, you still call out for support. I know, you know that you have our love and that our arms are reached for a big hug.
    You have so much respect from so many!
    Your journey is half way through and it sounds like it has been amazing, thank you for the updates.
    We look forward to hearing about the last leg home of your trip. (My attempt at a funny Yoga comment from the non-Yoga,Glynis – Sorry:) We miss you, admire you and look forward to seeing you back in OUR yard soon. BIG HUGS from G & Allie

  4. Anne said,

    November 19, 2013 at 9:40 am

    We had snow in Ottawa last night not a lot but snow nevertheless. You would need some socks in your sandals here too! If you are mid course or nearing it … it is melt down time. You are in the company of many that have taken the journey of Ashram life. The last half will fly by and you won’t want to leave by the time you finish…it will likely feel very bittersweet. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you, sending some supportive vibes of affirmation and to let you know what you are feeling is so normal. Sending hugs and yeah for you Anne … it is sweet growth with a bit of a bitter taste at times… but that Latte that awaits will taste even better. ❤

  5. Monika Kobetic said,

    November 19, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    Hi Anne,
    what a wonderful journey you are on. Thank you for taking us with you. The weather is changing everywhere; here in Ottawa it got colder as well, but thanks to you our hearts are filled with warmth and happiness. When you get back there will be latte waiting for you 😉

  6. Nancy Lowry said,

    November 20, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Dear Anne,
    I am not sure who is more beautiful in this photo …. you or the background? Perhaps both in equal measure. Continue to have compassion for yourself in your heart in all times both good and less good. How much more wise you are becoming! Always I see the light in you.
    Hugs,
    Nancy


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